Writing What You Want

I have neglected blogging for last few days but what with holiday planning, frustrating short story, and SIMS game beckoning me...what's a girl to do! Tomorrow, I am off to Turkey for 2 weeks, so a little something before the break. When I was asked to write a story about "green issue" and I went back saying it didn't interest me, my tutor though kindly accepted it, did say that the purpose was not necessarily to write only what one was comfortable with, but what one could sell. I have heard this before, and I don't entirely disagree with it, because I don't think poverty is romantic or heroic in any way. But, I also don't agree with it. I create characters and worlds that come from me, the ones that somehow resonate with me. That is not to say that one shouldn't try different things. Because often you don't know you like something until you try it. But if I didn't care about that particular story, I cannot write it well. It doesn't move me, or touch me in any way. That and then the whole frustrated short story thing led me to wonder if I actually want to write short stories. I started of wanting to be a writer by writing a novel. That still remains the most important thing. After starting Writers Bureau course, I learned about other options of being able to write short stories and articles - things that might perhaps make me a published writer sooner. But now, I feel that the kind of short stories I may like to write have limited market beyond competitions, and I am not at all a fan of paid competitions. I understand that those people don't have enough funds to make it free, but I haven't got enough funds to keep paying for it when I don't win anything. So I don't even consider paid competitions as a market at this stage. So either then I must write short stories that suit the market requirements and write them well, or I don't. So I have come to a conclusion. To write short stories that I want to write, and then worry about the market. I refuse to frustrate myself any longer with a story that I don't want to write and therefore through the whole process, I keep calling it rubbish, nightmare, and can't wait for it to finish. And when it is finished, it is merely substandard. That is a waste of my time and energy, which could be better spent on millions of other things I do want to write. Novels thankfully provide hell of a lot of freedom, and I can write what I want. I think especially in the initial stage, when we are still learning the craft, learning to deal with rejection, trying to handle discipline of being a writer in spare time, it is essential to maintain the passion. If we loose the passion to write now, there is no hope. And passion comes from doing something you want to do with all your heart.