Saturday, 12 September 2009
Afraid? Who Me?
Oh my god, there is actually fear in me somewhere. The realisation wasn't exactly like a bombshell, but it was sudden and unexpected. But the thought popped into my head, and I knew it to be true. I have met many writers afraid of writing, and I never understood that. Afraid of rejection, I can understand. But of writing? That made no sense. I have no problems starting book after another. After all, if I didn't like it, I could always continue working on it. So what's this fear then? I was afraid of trying shorter pieces. Not necessarily short stories, because there is no love lost between me and the short stories, but shorter, non-fiction pieces. I have been meaning to try them. There are tons of rough doodles lying about the tons of trees sitting in my living room. But rough doodles they remain. I haven't properly tried. It was just now, while I was thinking about the two travel articles I have promised myself to do this week that it occured to me there is a reason behind my procrastination. You see, with a book, it's easy. A book takes ages. A book has to be as perfect as possible. That long lead time makes me feel that I have got time to get it right before it will ever get to an agent. But not so with an article. Even at the beginning stage, at the most it may take a week to edit and polish it, if I were to take it slow. Then I have to submit it. Then, more than likely, it will be rejected. I have had a fair few rejections from short stories, and they are not exactly pleasant surprises, but it hasn't stopped me from sending them. So why this sudden realisation with articles? To be honest, I have no idea. It's just there. My procrastination is only partly laziness (oh well). But now that I know it, there is no excuse. Unless I try it, I will never know whether it is for me or not. I promised this blog to have two articles planned and one written this week. So I shall. Even if what remains of the week is day and a half. If I don't report on that by tomorrow, you are free to punch me across the cyber space.