Saturday, 12 September 2009
Afraid? Who Me?
Oh my god, there is actually fear in me somewhere.
The realisation wasn't exactly like a bombshell, but it was sudden and unexpected. But the thought popped into my head, and I knew it to be true. I have met many writers afraid of writing, and I never understood that. Afraid of rejection, I can understand. But of writing? That made no sense. I have no problems starting book after another. After all, if I didn't like it, I could always continue working on it.
So what's this fear then?
I was afraid of trying shorter pieces. Not necessarily short stories, because there is no love lost between me and the short stories, but shorter, non-fiction pieces. I have been meaning to try them. There are tons of rough doodles lying about the tons of trees sitting in my living room. But rough doodles they remain. I haven't properly tried. It was just now, while I was thinking about the two travel articles I have promised myself to do this week that it occured to me there is a reason behind my procrastination.
You see, with a book, it's easy. A book takes ages. A book has to be as perfect as possible. That long lead time makes me feel that I have got time to get it right before it will ever get to an agent. But not so with an article. Even at the beginning stage, at the most it may take a week to edit and polish it, if I were to take it slow. Then I have to submit it. Then, more than likely, it will be rejected. I have had a fair few rejections from short stories, and they are not exactly pleasant surprises, but it hasn't stopped me from sending them. So why this sudden realisation with articles?
To be honest, I have no idea. It's just there. My procrastination is only partly laziness (oh well). But now that I know it, there is no excuse. Unless I try it, I will never know whether it is for me or not. I promised this blog to have two articles planned and one written this week. So I shall. Even if what remains of the week is day and a half.
If I don't report on that by tomorrow, you are free to punch me across the cyber space.
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I am with you on the lack of understanding of people who are affraid of writing. One cannot call oneself a writer otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI too have more projects in mind that I can work on at once. However, I've decided to simply write one page summaries of the books I want to write, and focus on just the one for now. I find it affects the voice of the story if I work on more than one at a time. I liked your post though :) thanks!
Hi, it's ninahare here. Know just what you mean about fear. I think writers are terribly brave people. They face the fear every time they write. And getting published does not help (for most writers). Even getting famous (but, hey, who wants that?) doesn't help, in fact it can fill your pen with concrete.
ReplyDeleteAs a writer once said... writing is easy, all you have to do is sit down to your typewriter and open a vein...
ninahare, www.kitchentablewriters.blogspot.com
Good luck! I see your point with the pressure of getting something done quickly. It's a different experience that I think takes a lot of courage and getting used to. I'm enjoying your travel blog. Can't wait to see more work from you.
ReplyDeleteAre you planning on entering the Genre Wars short story contest on the Literary Lab?
Jm Diaz,
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting. I have been attempting to focus on just one book for last couple of months. I still attempt to work on other shorter things. I don't think I am capable of focusing on one thing at a time. :P Need more practice perhaps.
Nina,
Thanks for visiting.Definitely agree with your comments.
Lady Glam,
Thanks for checking out the new blog. Indeed I will be entering Genre Wars, and look out for promotional post here in near future.