Paradise of Ghosts - AW Blog Chain

Paradise of Ghosts

Every morning I stand in the garden, looking across at the point where the sky swoops down to embrace the sea, which leaps up to meet the sky half-way; a quick, frenzied embrace and then they are apart again. The Eternal Yearning, Jake named it. Two entities that are never quite together, yet can't bear to separate. I look at it now, day after day, and wonder what it feels like. Sad maybe, but with each seperation there is also hope to be reunited again. I wake up at nights, seeking that hope. I yearn for the touch and the smell that once used to be familiar, but is slipping away, leaving me bereft. I haven't forgotten him. I haven't stopped hurting for wanting him. But his scent no longer lingers on my body. The memory of his skin against mine no longer fills me with an all-consuming fire, but is rather a whisper that merely caresses me before fading away. I look at the horizon, at the Eternal Yearning, and suddenly it is all too much to bear. Here, in this paradise that we built together, I am all alone because Jake decided seeking the answers to make his paintings more real was more important than being content. He wanted to feel the pulse of life, unravel the rainbow of its colours. Our peaceful blanket of white - not even a colour, but a safe haven - wasn't enough. Now, there is no white for him. Just another non-colour. No light. Just darkness beneath the earth; his body left in that colourless place by one of the shades of grey he had gone off to explore in the slums of London. His painting of the slums, of the hungry eyes peering at me, remains unfinished. I often think of throwing it away, but something stops me. Perhaps because that half-finished painting, of the world that destroyed me, belongs here now. In my new world, made of no colours. Just shadows and ghosts for me to chase, but nothing of substance to hold onto. I turn away from the Eternal Yearning. Without substance, there is no hope, and without hope, what am I but another shadow in this paradise of ghosts. *** This was the flash fiction piece for September's AW Blog Chain. My three words for LilliCray are: Diana Dreaming Castle List of the Participants: Fokker Aeroplanbau Forbidden Snowflake RavenCorinnCarluk Lostwanderer5 LilliCray Aimeelaine Claire Crossdale bsolah Angyl78 FreshHell Lady Cat ealexis Crayonz Razibahmed Proach Tara McClendon MGraybosch shethinkstoomuch