As the Fire Burns Stronger...

You dream about doing something or wanting something for a long time. You act on it, but life gets in the way, or maybe you don’t realise just how important that dream is to you. And then one day…boom…it occurs to you that time’s moving much faster than when you were younger, and that before you know it you will be dead, so better get on with things you want to do. That is how it’s been with me and writing. At first, I just wanted to write a book. Then, I realised that I actually wanted to be a writer. I have been writing for years, but after weeks or even months of disciplined writing, life would again get in the way, and the stories would rest waiting for me to pick them up. I never forgot them, but it was like leaving your children in a boarding school for the whole year and only catching up with them at Easter and Christmas. Catching up is good, but is never the same as living together. But after last Christmas, I began to realise that if I wanted to become a full time writer while I am relatively young, the time had come for serious discipline and hard work. Thoughts and planned mulled in my mind, and then finally in February after signing up to Writers Bureau course, my discipline got on track. I haven’t gotten off the track yet. Now after few months of focusing only on Writers Bureau assignments, I have begun to focus on my books. At first, when I began to collate what I had written and put up the progress bars, I was amazed and happy with the word count I had. Now, as I look at those bars, and as I think about the goals I have set for myself, I feel this fire burning within me to accomplish that. It is often exhausting to worry about that after day job, but the fire burns stronger nonetheless. Writing is not about a job. It is about who I am. To not devote time and energy to something I am so passionate about would be a waste of my life. There are no guarantees if I might succeed in the “real” world, but if I pursue my dream with all the passion I have then I shall definitely have the peace in my inner world that I spent time doing what I love to do (including facing demons of editing dread).